


Fireflies

by dementorsatemysoup



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Broken Boys, Feelings, First Dates, First Kiss, M/M, Secrets, Some Fluff, this was supposed to be fluffy, yet here we are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-19 22:46:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14882660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dementorsatemysoup/pseuds/dementorsatemysoup
Summary: Molly and Caleb go on an adventure.





	Fireflies

**Author's Note:**

> I fail at Fluff, but I finally finished this story.
> 
> Thanks for reading :)

Caleb puts his pen down, rubbing his eyes. He's been transcribing spells for most of the afternoon, finally getting the downtime after a week long job for The Gentleman. He's not sure where the rest of the Nein have gone; Jester leading Nott, Fjord, and Kiri out the door around ten this morning while Beau and Yasha left around noon to go pub hopping. He hasn't seen Molly, had been expecting him to drop by the table at least once before leaving, but he must have been up early today. Caleb would be lying if he said he isn't a little disappointed. He's still overwhelmed by Molly most days, but he's become used to Molly's company; welcomes it.

He lets out a soft breath, looking down at his precise scrawls, tapping the paper with his thumbs. He should probably finish up here, doesn't know when he's going to get another chance to get these spells written down, but he doesn't feel like it right now. He leans back in his chair, tilting his head back, and closes his eyes. He's not one to take naps in random places, especially when he's alone, but he's willing to try if it means he doesn't have to transcribe anymore spells tonight.

"You look comfortable."

Caleb's eyes snap open and he sits up, coughing softly. Molly grins down at him, hovering over Caleb's table, one eyebrow raised in interest. Caleb feels his face flush and he straightens up, clearing his throat. "Hello, Molly," he says, closing his spell book.

"What were you doing?" Molly moves around the table, looking over Caleb's shoulder at the drying ink. He cocks his head, studying the spell, and asks, "What's this one do?"

"It's supposed to freeze time," Caleb answers, staring at the newly transcribed spell, rubbing the back of his head. "I, uh, I haven't had time to test it so I don't know if it works exactly. I figure, if we, um, if we need it in a fight it could be handy."

"Smart," Molly says and Caleb's ears start to burn.

"Thank you," Caleb murmurs, smiling shyly.

Molly squeezes his shoulder, thumb brushing his neck, and Caleb barely holds back a shiver. "No need to thank me. In fact, we should probably thank you. All those boosts you give us? You've helped us more than you think." Caleb risks a quick glance up at Molly and he gives him a soft smile. "You're more useful than me in a fight at least. It's either devil's tongue or run in half cocked, and we've all learned that's not really the best idea."

"You're plenty useful," Caleb says quickly, very much aware of Molly's hand still resting on his shoulder. "Without you we'd be dead."

"Caleb..."

"We would," Caleb insists and he hears Molly sigh.

"I see you've taken a note out of Nott's book." Molly squeezes his shoulder one more time before releasing it, moving around the table to sit across from Caleb. He leans forward, resting his arms on the table, and lays his chin on his hands.

"What are you doing?" Caleb asks warily, hunching his shoulders.

"Watching you," Molly responds playfully. "You're fascinating, Caleb Widogast."

Caleb flushes again, looking down at his paper. "I'm not."

"You are."

Caleb shakes his head, picking up his pen and twisting it in his hands. “I'm really not,” he whispers, putting his pen down again and pulling on his ear.

“If you insist,” Molly says, not unkindly, and he drops the subject.

Caleb coughs again, gripping the back of his burning neck, and hums softly to himself. He chews on his lip, looking anywhere but at Molly's watchful gaze, and murmurs, “I'm sure you are bored sitting here.”

“I'm never bored with you,” Molly responds immediately, and Caleb fights the urge to cover his face with his hand. This is too much; far, far too much. He'd rather the floor open up and swallow him whole than have Molly keep showering him with compliments.

Molly sits up suddenly, grinning, and he asks, “Wanna get out of here?”

Taken aback, Caleb shrinks away from him and says, “Where?”

“Anywhere. Nowhere. It doesn't matter.” Molly stands up, offering Caleb his hand. “It's all about the adventure.”

“I don't know...”

“C'mon Caleb-” Molly wiggles his fingers, almost beckoning him, “-where's your sense of adventure?”

“I, uh, I don't really have one.”

“We must rectify that immediately.”

“Molly...” Caleb eyes his hand warily for a few seconds, feeling his resolve slip, and he sighs softly. “Okay.” He takes Molly's hand, allowing him to haul him to his feet. Molly gives him a few seconds to cram his book and spells in his bag before the two head out of the tavern.

* * *

 “Where are we going?” Caleb asks curiously, looking at his and Molly's joined hands. He wonders if Molly is going to drop his hand, thinks maybe he should pull away instead, but eventually leaves it alone. He can't say he hates having his hand held again.

“You'll see,” Molly responds in a singsong voice and leads Caleb down the road.

Their first stop is a small, cozy tea shop in the nicer part of town. It's owned by a cheery dwarf who supplies them with far too many pastries and too sweet tea.

“You two are so cute,” she coos, filling Caleb's mostly full cup with more tea. “How long have you been together?”

Caleb's body jerks in surprise, his hand knocking into his cup and spilling tea onto the table, and his face turns red. “We aren't...”

“Not yet at least,” Molly replies quickly, smiling up at the dwarf, distracting her from the mess Caleb made. He reaches out, patting Caleb's hand, and says, “I've been trying to woo him for a year. Haven't quite succeeded yet.”

The dwarf makes a sympathetic sound and says, “You two would be darling together.”

“One day perhaps.” Molly sounds almost wistful, but when Caleb looks over at him his face is unreadable.

She smiles at them both and exclaims, “I have some cookies! Would you like some cookies?”

Before they can answer, she hurries into the back, and Molly turns his smile onto Caleb. “Free cookies?”

“You shouldn't lie to her,” Caleb says softly, mopping up the tea he spilled with his sleeve. “About the wooing thing.”

“Who says I'm lying,” Molly asks curiously but when Caleb tries to gauge his expression again he's turned away from him, glancing back to see what the dwarf woman is doing, smiling wide when she hurries back towards their table carrying a tray full of heart-shaped cookies. Caleb barely holds back a frustrated sigh.

“They have raspberry filling,” she says excitedly, setting the tray on the table.

“They look delicious,” Molly compliments and she blushes.

“Thank you.”

When they've had their fill, Molly stuffs the leftovers in his bag for Jester, orders a jug of tea for the road, and they wave to the nice dwarf as they leave her little shop.

“What did you mean?” Caleb asks, trying to keep up with Molly's long strides. “About the wooing thing?”

“Where to next?” Molly ignores Caleb's question, turning in a slow circle, tapping his chin as he looks at the names of the shops surrounding them. He snaps his fingers, humming triumphantly, and starts walking again. “This way.”

With a frustrated breath, Caleb jogs to keep up.

“While out walking today I came across a place you may like,” Molly explains over his shoulder, flashing Caleb one of his cheery smiles. “If you're up for a bit of shopping.”

Conceding to the fact that Molly isn't going to answer his question, Caleb says, “I'm always up for a bit of shopping.”

“Swell,” Molly responds and turns a corner, gesturing to a large building. “A bit might be an understatement though.”

Caleb looks up at the shop, taking a step back with wide eyes. “ _Scheisse_ ,” he whispers, grabbing onto Molly's arm to keep from falling over.

“It's supposedly the biggest book shop for 100 miles,” Molly says, grinning at Caleb. “I figured, you know, since we we've been on the road for such a long time, and you haven't had much to read besides the same two books. And since we're going to be camping again for the next few days before heading back to Zadash...” he shrugs, his smile softening. “You okay?”

“I'm fine.” Caleb tears his eyes away from the shop, looking eagerly at Molly. “Can we, uh, can we go inside?”

“Yes, yes we can.”

Caleb lets Molly go, hurrying forward, nearly tripping over his own feet. He hears Molly chuckle as he trails behind him, holding the door open for him. The moment he's inside, Caleb takes a deep breath, enjoying the smell of new books, and turns to give Molly a shy smile.

“Thank you,” he says softly.

Molly shrugs and says, “I'm trying to woo you, remember?”

Nodding absentmindedly, Caleb walks deeper into the bookshop, perusing the shelves. He doesn't know what he's looking for exactly, but he has so much to choose from he's certain he'll find something.

* * *

 “Besides Arcana books is there any other genre you prefer?” Molly asks curiously, leaning against the opposite shelf from the one Caleb searches.

“My mother,” Caleb trails off, closing his eyes. Thinking of his mother will never stop hurting, but he presses on, whispering to the book he's holding. “She used to, um, used to read me this book of fairy tales. Knights slaying dragons to rescue their damsels; wizards protecting kingdoms from giants; kid stuff. I lost the book she used to read me in the...” He puts the book back, covering his eyes with his hand and hanging his head, a phantom pain shooting through his chest. “I lost the book.”

Molly grabs for his free hand, squeezing it gently, and says, “I feel that there is a story here. One that you're not ready to tell, but when you are I will listen.”

“Thank you, Mollymauk,” Caleb whispers with a grateful smile. He feels Molly lean forward and press a kiss to his hair and then they separate; Molly returning to his position against the book shelf, Caleb grabbing a book at random and flipping through it.

He wanders around the shop for hours, thoroughly searching the Arcana section. The whole time Molly patiently follows him around, asking him random questions about magic, suggesting books that Caleb overlooked in his haste to see everything.

By the time they leave, Caleb has two more books to add to his collection. He puts them in his bag, thanking Molly again for purchasing them for him, promising to pay him back.

“Caleb, consider them gifts,” Molly says kindly. “I don't expect anything in return.”

“I'm, uh, I'm trying to be better at borrowing money...”

“They're gifts,” Molly insists and Caleb nods. “Good. Now, you up for one last stop?”

“I, uh, yes. Alright.”

* * *

Their next stop is a bit of a jaunt; Molly leading Caleb out of the small town and down a stone path. As he walks, he explains, “I found this place today, too. Early this morning. I couldn't sleep, decided to take a bit of a walk.”

“Did something keep you up?” Caleb asks worriedly.

“Not exactly,” Molly admits, stopping and turning to face Caleb. He chews on his lip, studying Caleb's face for a long moment, before sighing softly. “We all have our demons, Caleb.”

Dropping his gaze, Caleb murmurs, “Yes, yes we do.”

Smiling suddenly, Molly says, “But we're not going to get into that tonight.”

“Okay.” They're quiet for a few more seconds before Caleb draws in a breath and softly says, “That offer; in the bookshop? It's, I mean, I'll listen if...” he trails off, shrugging. “Just so you know.”

“I appreciate it.”

They move on, heading further down the path, and soon they come to a clearing. The lake is crystal clear, fish easily seen as they dart around under water, a duck gliding lazily across the surface, enjoying the last bit of sun before it sets completely. Wild flowers have grown all over the place, vibrant colors contrasting with the greens and browns of the trees. Fireflies blink around them, giving the place an ethereal look, and somewhere nearby an owl rustles as it wakes for his nightly prowl.

Caleb's breath catches in his throat. It's so ordinary, he's seen a lake before, but there's also something about this place. Something breathtaking. “It's beautiful,” he says softly.

“I quite like it,” Molly agrees from behind Caleb. “I quite like you, too.”

“What?” Caleb turns, furrowing his eyebrows. “You what?”

Molly huffs, ruffling the back of his hair. He looks nervous, anxious, so different from the usual way he looks, and Caleb takes an involuntary step forward, reaching out for him. Molly takes a step back, holding out his hand, and says, “I need to get this out and I can't do that if you're touching me.”

Caleb lowers his hand, nodding slowly. “Okay. Okay.”

Molly draws in a deep breath, letting it out shakily, and starts to pace. “I don't,” he swears in Infernal, burying his face in his hands. He lets out a frustrated breath, lowers his hands, and continues, “I don't have much experience with liking someone. I enjoy meeting people, enjoy the physical aspects of their company, but emotional stuff...”

“You seem very emotionally invested to me,” Caleb says through numb lips.

“I meant romantically,” Molly states smiling at him. “There's not much room for courting someone when you're in the circus. We never stayed in one area too long, I always saw the rest of the circus folk as more like my family than as anyone I'd be romantically involved with, and until I met you guys...” he sighs, meeting Caleb's eyes. “Until I met you.

“I really like you, Caleb. Probably ever since I met you, but I can't be sure. We all had so many secrets when we met, kept so much stuff from one another, that I hadn't really given my feelings towards you any thought until a few months after we met. You were-,” he draws in another breath, letting it out through his nose,“-you were the enigma I wanted to solve. And when I did, or thought I did, I realized...” Molly shrugs, his hopeful face open and honest, willing Caleb to believe that he's telling the truth. “I really like you.”

“Molly.” Caleb looks down at his shaking hands, wanting nothing more than to flee before this gets out of hand, but his feet won't cooperate. Hoarsely, he says, “Molly, I am not a good man.”

“That's shite.”

“I'm not,” Caleb insists, glaring at the ground. “I've done things; terrible things. Most I wish I could take back. I do not wish to-” he turns his back to Molly, hugging himself. “I do not wish to harm you. I could not bare it if I harmed you.”

“Do you not like me?” Molly asks softly, moving forward and resting his hand on Caleb's shoulder.

“I, I do,” Caleb admits, his eyes burning with unshed tears. “I do like you, but I...” he draws in a shaky breath. “I am incapable of making anyone happy.”

“You can make me happy.” When Caleb shakes his head vehemently, Molly presses on, “No, you can. I, I know you can.”

“How?” Caleb whirls around, startling Molly and causing him to take a step back. “I've killed before, Mollymauk! Innocent people are dead because of me. I watched them burn and I felt nothing. I watched my parents...” Caleb's breath hitches and he hugs himself tighter. “ _Scheisse_.

“I am broken,” Caleb whispers. “And I fear I can never be fixed.”

“You don't need fixing,” Molly say softly, moving forward so he's standing in front of Caleb. He reaches out slowly, carefully, and places his hands on Caleb's shoulders again. “We can't let our pasts define who we are; we can only learn from them and try to better ourselves.”

Caleb laughs bitterly. “Easy for you to say. You barely have a past.”

“Oh, I have one,” Molly whispers, staring intently at Caleb's chest. “I might not remember it, and I may refuse to acknowledge it, but it exists.” He points at his forehead and says, “Right here.

“You asked if something kept me up. Memories, flashes, things I do not wish to think about; those keep me awake. Nightmares that I can't tell are real or just a figment of my imagination. If you're broken then I'm shattered.” He replaces his hand on Caleb's shoulder and leans down, pressing their foreheads together.

“Are you afraid of your past?”

Molly sighs, “Yes.”

Caleb nods. “Me too.”

Molly releases Caleb's shoulders, putting his arms around his neck, and pulls him close. Caleb hesitates for a moment before returning the hug, leaning further into Molly. It's several moments before either one moves, stepping away from each other, looking out at the lake.

Molly reaches out and takes Caleb's hand. “We can be broken together.”

Uncertain, Caleb asks, “What if I am not enough for you?”

“You're more than enough.” He squeezes his hand, smiling at him, and says, “You're more than I probably deserve.”

“That's not true.”

Molly's smile turns sad. “We'll see.”

* * *

They walk back to the tavern a good hour later, neither one saying much, hands brushing occasionally. Through the window, Caleb sees the rest of The Nein seated around a table, drinks and food scattered across the surface; Beau leaning too far into Yasha's space; Jester openly flirting with Fjord; Nott showing Kiri the correct way to hold a crossbow; his family.

“I love those bastards,” Molly says quietly, his shoulder brushing Caleb's.

“I think I do, too,” Caleb admits, still uncertain how he feels about them. He knows he wishes no harm to them, knows he cares about them, but he doesn't know if he can love anymore. He glances over at Molly, smiling softly, and hopes that's not true.

He heads towards the stairs, but Molly grabs his hand, halting his footsteps, and pulls Caleb towards him, gently kissing him, pinning their joined hands between their chests. Caleb stills for a moment before returning the kiss, resting his free hand against Molly's cheek, sighing softly.

Molly pulls back a few seconds later, brushing Caleb's hair off of his face. “Thank you for a lovely evening, Mister Caleb.”

Breathless, Caleb nods and whispers, “Likewise, Mister Molly.”


End file.
